Granted but the character only gets one line.
I wish I had a pizza.

Igor says
 

Igor says you have your pizza... but it is covered in slimy anchovies from Davey's oldest servers :laughks2:

Igor wish for new ships classes that Igor can sail. :knife:

Granted but they have no broadsides, a health of 3 and no on board cannons!

Um.....

I wish for milk....

Granted But its spoiled

I wish for Tang

Granted but it is a very annoying kind of Tang.

I wish for the world to switch to an alternative source of power.

Granted but the power source is cheese and we all run out of cheese to eat.
I wish for a milkshake.

Granted, but it is just enough to fill a tablespoon...

I wish to become an officer in the rogues....

Granted, but then the GM decides to disband the guild.

I wish I had the ability to stop time.

Granted but time is stopped indefinitely.
I wish for a Plasma screen TV

Granted, but when you sit down on the couch and turn Family Guy on it falls off the wall.

I wish vacation would stop and pirating would begin!

Granted but it's real life pirating and they steal all of your valuables.

I wish to be invisible for 5 minutes everyday.

Granted, but only your fingers are invisible.

I wish that I could have phantom spirits II in real life.

Granted but in real life their effects are barely noticeable.