"How do you feel?" says you.
"Saintlike. Geddit Davy, I'm Holey!"

Options?

1) Laugh at corny joke.
2) Giggle at corny joke.
3) Guffaw at corny joke.

I have heard that before. I love that joke...

three please. That was a good joke.

You guffaw, and together, we laugh our hearts out for 20 minutes.

Options.

1) Jack dies of laughter.
2) I gulp down rum.
3) I tell corny jokes.

3. I love a good corny joke, and not dying.

I say, "So how about that airline food?"

You die cuz its so boring.

Options:

1. Be banned by Crest.
2. Be banned by Davy.
3. Be banned by me.
4. Be banned by Jack.
5. Ban yourself and win the epic fail award.

Now, usually I'd pick 4, but let me go with 5!

(Even if you had picked 4 you would get the same thing, since you are essentially banning yourself either way)

You ban yourself, and because of your ban, you can't go to the award ceremoney to except your epic fail award.

1) Go fight the undead in the invassion
2) Go fight a ship of undead
3) Go fight the undead in Raven's Cove
4) Fight the EITC or Navy

1. The town(s) must be protected!

You go and protect the town that is being invaded, but the undead have taken over everything else, the seas and Raven's Cove. The EITC and Navy also join in with the invassion causing you to knock out a few times, but a few helpful pirates help you keep from being knocked out. But rest asured, you beat the invasion and you rejoice!
Though the Raven's cove is crawling with the undead that got sent back, and the Navy and EITC are waiting for you in their ships out in the ocean

Options?

1) Go to the Faithful Bride for a pick-me-up.
2) Go to the King's Arm for a bottle.

I'll go with number one, just for fun, and while I can, I think I'll spam.

You go to the Bride for a good drink. While you're there, you see a certain Cap'n Jack recruiting men for a grand adventure. You decided to join up with him. Unfortunately, he's planning on sacrifcing you to pay off a debt to Davy Jones.

Enjoy the Flying Dutchman!