You have a heart attack and die.

ICOTS

You fall off ravens coves glitch and die

ICOTS

You die, and I live.

ICOTS.

I live, you die.

ICOTS

a nuke comes and kill u all except me

icots

(i had to think of something didnt i?)

I put a sticky granade from CODMOD2 down your throat and i run away.

ICOTS!

I tie you to a mast, then blow up the ship with dynamite.

ICOTS.

i get a bigger ship and sink u using the ammo as forks

icots

I eat your ship.

ICOTS.... if I can be captain of something in my stomach.

You can't. Your body then explodes and the ship appears, albeit in a new Crimson paintjob. I then take command to the shouts of jubilation by the popualce.

ICOTS.

Oh sayy can you see?! By the dawn's early light!!! What so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming! The thing your seeing by the dawn's early light is my ship. We sink yours at the twilight's last gleaming. Sorry, I have our national anthem stuck in my head....

ICOTS

I join your patriotism and sail over to your ship, and I submit myself to your rule.

For now.

I'm NOT Captain of the ship.

I make you my first mate, and make sure that we split the plunder 35% for me, 35% for you, and 30% for the crew.

ICOTS

I serve you faithfully for many months, helping you raid numerous coastal settlments, taking Spanish treasure fleets and earning mountains of gold. From all that plundering, I have earned a pretty penny of gold and rum.

INCOTS.

Jack, if you are first mate, say IFMOTS (I'm first mate of the ship). But you won't be using that anymore.

I decide that I don't want you. I maroon you on Rumrunners Isle. But don't worry, you have several years supply of rum.