ROTFL great!!

New chapter again! As I had left you waiting for two months before, I feel guilty, and Davy is persisting xD Anywho, I give you....


The small crew had stopped Britney's bleeding. Which was good, even if half his leg was gone. George was still lying there unconscious. Anton flew up to him, and kicked him. George flew 15 feet through the air, and when he landed, all the red lumps on him exploded like zits. It was like puke fireworks, without the fire or loud boom.

"Well that solves one problem." Anton said trying not to laugh at the spectacle.

"AAAAaaaaaHHHHHHhhhhhhh........." George let out, screaming at first, but then yawning a cry of relief. He stood up and brushed the sand off him before turning towards his team. Everyone but Anton had a look of disgust on their face. Then George started talking and they scrunched their faces even more.

"OOOOOOKKKKKIIIIIEEEEE. So we peepz is gunna go an esplore that big place with lots of trees and we iz gunna try an find teh burro."

"Burrito," Anton corrected him.

"Yah, dat thingy" He then noticed one last bump on his shoulder. He grabbed it with his hand and squeezed it, causing it to explode in his face. "HA! Hahuhahuhahuhahuha!" He attempted laughing, but just choked on all the juices that were covering his face.

"Well on that bombshell, shall we follow 'captain's' orders?" Anton asked, turning to the others.

"Aye."

"A *hic* ye"

"AAAAHHHH...ye"

And with Britney's final scream/response, they set off into the dangerous unknown.

~~~~~~~~

"ARE WE DERE YUT?!?" George whined.

"DANG IT! NO! We aren't there yet!" Anton was starting to regret following George's orders.

"I think he *hic* is over exc *hic* ited about the *hic* Burrito." Brandy reminded Anton.

"Or he could just be the noob that we know him as," Banana said, joining the conversation.

"I don't care about this anymore. Let's just find this stupid Burrito." Anton muttered, flying ahead of the others.

They came to a large opening with some trees off to the left, a pile of rocks in the center, and thicker jungle off to the right. Banana helped Britney over to the pile of rocks, and set him down there.

"He needs rest. He's just lost half his leg and a bunch of blood." Banana told Anton.

"When did you become a doctor?"

"You don't need to be a doctor to tell that this guy is dying." She said this, getting quieter at the end. She helped him sit down.

"GAHHHH!!!! Watch the stub!" Britney shouted.

"Whoa, he speaks!" Banana screamed with excitement.

While all of this was happening, George was wandering off to the left, towards the smaller trees. He was starting to get tired. He found a tree that was short enough for a noob like him to climb up. Sitting on a thick branch was a nest of sorts. It looked like a nice place to sleep, so he climbed in. This is where it is confirmed that George is a total idiot.

~~~~~~~

With Britney well rested, the others curved off to the right, away from George. It's kinda funny how this happens like this, huh? I guess no one really pays attention to George anymore. It's a bad habit. He tends to get in a lot of trouble.

~~~~~~~

George woke up, sort of. He was having a dream that all the toothpicks in the world were being poked into him. His eyes flew open and he was surrounded by REALLY. BIG. BUGZ. He looked down at his body. Just about every part of him that could get stung, was.

"OOOOOH. More of dem bumpys to poke!" He started popping them, one by one, but they seemed never ending. Then he noticed the giant wasps again.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhHHHHHHHHhhhhhh!!!!!!" He leaped out of the tree. Or more like waved his arms and legs and fell flat on his face. He rolled around for a while, sort of like he was on fire. Finally, he stood up shakily, and ran, stumbling and screaming.

After a while, he had found a small waterfall and pool. He ran into the pool and started noobing it up. The fresh, clean water started turning into a pus filled, giant bowl of snot. He walked under the waterfall, and on the other side, was something his small brain took time to process. On the other side, was a Burrito. He instantly ran up to it and ate it. But before he could take his second bite, he froze, and dropped the Burrito. He had a strange look in his eyes.

And then he had an epic vision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there is your chapter! It's a little longer then my past ones, but not by much. I need more drive to write o.o ANYWHO, I hope you enjoyed it and Davy is next!

I forgot to drink a bunch of water beforehand. No matter, I laughed so hard my chest hurt. Good job. I'll do the next one.

Haha, nicely done pib! And 2 chapters in 2 days?!!?! That's insane 0_o

Here is the next chapter!


George felt like he was floating through nothingness. Around him was, well, nothing. It was emptiness, like his head, with random colors appearing and disappearing. All of the sudden, he started hearing voices.

"I personally think George's idea is great..." Banana's voice said, in an echoing tone.

"WHY DO YOU ALL HAVE TO BE MINDLESS FOOLS?!" Britney's voice screamed.

"Yes, I'll have the ham sandwich ma'am," George's Great-Uncle Ploopy said.

Before George could start to wonder why Great-Uncle Ploopy was in his dream, a more powerful voice spoke. It was deep, and powerful, and had a sort of an accent. George was too stupid to tell where it was from though.

"O Noobish One," the voice boomed. "You have come far."

"I just founded a burrito and eated it..." George said worried. "Did I do sometin badz?"

"....no..." the voice said. "O Noobish One, I am Pablo, the spirit of The Lost Burrito."

"So you iz edible?!" George screamed with delight. "Where arez you?! I wanna nom nom nom on youz!"

"SHUT UP! I'M TRYING TO HELP YOU HERE!" Pablo bellowed. "Err, where was I? Ah yes! George, there are evil forces trying to come after me. The forces of Jolly Roger!"

"OMGZZZ! Not the evil pirate flag thingamabober!"

"No you twit! Jolly Roger, leader of the undead army! Bahh, why did I need to pick this guy to help me? Oh well, too late now. I must give you the location of myself so you can find me and keep me safe from Jolly Roger."

"waitz just a minutezerz!" George said, holding up his arms. Then he remembered that he wasn't really there, and it was just his mind. He had no arms. "what would tehh bonehead thing want with a mexican food?"

"George, I posses great power. If Jolly Roger gets his hands... mouth? Oh well, if he gets to me, then he can harness my power and destroy the Caribbean! You must find me, and then keep me safe from Jolly Roger! Otherwise we may all be doomed!"

"mmmk, whats in it for me?" George asked stupidly.

"Err... well, I suppose if you get me, you can harness my power, and you can become the toughest noob to sail the seas. I suppose you can't do too much with my power, but if it gets into the hands (mouth?) of evil, all is lost!"

"well how iz i gonna find u?" George asked.

"I'll have to tell you this riddle," Pablo said. "Ahem...

Go, to the island with cliffs so great,
With the red ghosts so filled with hate.
Fight your way through bats and the raven,
To find the Lost Burrito's guarded haven.

"Wut?"

"DAMN IT!" Pablo yelled in frustration. "I'm hidden on Raven's Cove! Way to ruin the epicness..."

"mmmk, so I go to teh Cove with the crows..."

"...Ravens..." Pablo corrected. George didn't notice.

"And then I look around for a tasty snack?"

"...sure..."

"OKAYZERZ! Now lemme outta here pweeze." George said triumphantly.

"Anything to get you out of here... just remember! You haven't much time! Get to Raven's Cove before Jolly Roger does! His army is searching for my whereabouts! Its not long before they discover my location and find me!"

"k, lemme out."

"Fine, fine," Pablo muttered. George heard a sound like fingers snapping, and then suddenly George awoke to the sound of wasps buzzing.

-----------------------------------------

Sorry if that wasn't too funny. Just needed to put that chapter in to move the story along. Pweeze leave comments!

Not funny? What are you talking about... that was great!

Haha, funniest part!

^That was my favorite part xD Wonderful chapter Davy! I had to stifle my laughing cuz I was supposed to be sleeping LOL.

One word.

ROTFLZ

Alright, it is time for the conclusion of possibly the most epic noob story in POF history. (probably the ONLY noob story in POF history) Enjoy!

Teh Beginning of teh Endz

George sat up. He was still lying behind the waterfall, the messenger burrito in his hand. He rubbed his noobish head. His hair was wet from the mist the waterfall threw off. His clothes were slightly damp.

"Dat waz kool." He mumbled to himself. He was about to take another bite out of the burrito, but a voice told him not to. Instead he chucked the edible voicemail into pond. He chuckled to himself. Soon it turned into a maniacal cackle. He stopped when he heard the noise.

That noise. The one that had hurt him.

"TEH BAD BUGGIEZ." He said, his eyes wide with fear. He started running. Or more like flopping around, slipping on all the wet surfaces. He did something that looked like the worm, rolled a couple yards, slid ten feet on his face, and fell dwon onto the soft grass. He brushed the sand and vegetation off before jogging off to find his crew.

He found the open area where the group had stopped before. There was the rock that Britney had bled all over. There were those trees he had wandered off into. He stood there, staring at the two directions, wondering where his friends went. Yea, he stood there for 10 minutes man. With only two paths. The one he went, and another one with thicker tree. Finally, he decided to go searching the thicker jungle.

He passed some pretty threating looking creatures, really tall trees, and several piles of some sort of poop. Just then he heard voices. Voices that were yelling his name. He thought (?) that it was just the after effects of the burrito. But then, sure enough, through the brush comes a small ladybug. And it spoke.

"George you moron! Where the hell have you been?!" Anton blurted in a panicked tone. A young woman poked her head through the bushes and her face lit up immediately.

"GEORGE!" Banana screamed, running towards him before tackle-hugging him. George looked like he was about to faint. Brandy came around the corner, barely supporting Britney as he stumbled along drunk.

"Uh... whoaz? That waz like, awsum." George said, rather clueless. He looked at his small crew. Everyone, was smiling at him. Even Britney, the legless jerk, managed a small smile. George decided that these WERE his friends. He knew they would get the burrito. Sounds like ole' George is learning lessons, eh? Maybe getting smarter. But that's a little TOO far, ya know?

"Letz go an find dat burro." George said flatly.

"Burrito." Anton corrected him.

"Shutz up. U iz ruin teh moment."

~~~~~

The team followed each other out the jungle to where the 'battle' with the giant crab took place. There were large dents in the ground where the large sea creature had scuttled around. They all walked to the skiff that would take them back to their weak (okay, VERY, VERY, weak) ship. They pulled up next to the Barnicle Brig, and climbed aboard. Brandy, of course, almost slipped back into the water.

As they set sail, everyone seemed way more confident. Everyone knew they could do this. But then the ship showed up.

~~~~~

It was a dark, moldy green, with tattered sails, and holes in its hull that should have sunk it. It was followed by a massive green fog. George laughed at the funny looking ship. Everyone else's face was ghostly white.

"Oh great lord save me now." Anton said, almost choking on his last few words.

"The Harkaway."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, yes, it does seem like I might be copying Davy. But do not worry! He actually helped me come up with the conclusion. ANYWHO, please comment and give predictions! I want you guys to guess what's going to happen next :D Farewell, and have a good night!

Since it was late, I had to try not to laugh too loud. It was kinda hard hehe. T'was good... I'll do the next chapter.

That was good mate!


:D

Look at meh last pozt ^^

Harkaway < Noob

Another fine chapter, nice job Pibby.

"Dat ship is a piece of junk!" George exclaimed, pointing at The Harkaway. "It iz all rotten n stuffz."

"Quit insulting her!" Britney screamed. "Its the ship of JOLLY ROGER! HE'LL KILL US ALL!"

"I wantz a Jolly Rancher!" George said excitedly, licking his lips.

"DAMN IT YOU IDIOT!" Anton said, punching George and knocking him to the floor of The Barnacle Brig. "FLEE! FLEE! SAIL FOR OUR LIVES! WE CAN'T TAKE ON JOLLY ROGER!"

"Ready teh gunz!" George ordered.

"At least I'll be put out of my misery..." Britney muttered, walking to a cannon.

The crew reluctantly went to the cannons. After all, they couldn't outrun The Harkaway. She was too fast. The two ships closed in on each other. George was really excited. He was about to sink Jolly Rancher! He would be a legend forever. The crew of The Barnacle Brig was terrified, but they knew that running would just end in their demise. Closer and closer, the two ships got. And soon...

"FIRE TEHH BOREDSIDES!" George yelled. The three pathetic cannons of The Brig fired, and the cannonballs flew toward The Harkaway at less than a good speed (what else do you expect from this floating pile of poop?). George watched excitedly as the Cannonballs flew right at the enemy ship. They hit! And then they bounced off the hull without leaving a dent.

There was complete silence aboard The Barnacle Brig for a moment as they looked at The Harkaway floating before them, undamaged by the broadside. George's mouth was open so wide that you could probably stuff a watermelon inside of it.

"Uhh..." Anton muttered.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Britney screamed at the top of his lungs. He ran around the deck, screaming and tripping and knocking things over. He eventually ran into the mast and slammed his head, falling to the floor. After a few seconds, he got up and started screaming again, before jumping into the water and swimming as far away from the two ships as he could.

The crew of The Brig stared at the figure of Britney swimming away in the darkness and fog, until they heard the sound of cannons being loaded. They turned in fear towards The Harkaway. The broadside cannons now were poking out of the side of her hull, aimed directly at The Barnacle Brig. Brandy and Banana gave each other a quick glance, and in a second they were following Britney. Anton started flying after them. But of course, George stayed behind.

"Oh crudzerz..." George muttered, before the guns fired directly at The Brig.

George shut his eyes, screamed and covered his heads as the cannonballs landed on the hull of The Brig. Wood flew everywhere, the mast toppled over into the sea, and gunpowder barrels beneath George exploded, blowing the ship into hundreds of pieces, and sending George flying up about thirty feet in the air. George opened his eyes and looked down, to see a mess of planks and broken ship parts in the place where his not-so-majestic ship once was. He then realized that he was thirty feet in the air.

"Ahh! I hatez tehh heights!" George screamed. He tried to flap his arms and fly, but he was too fat, and he belly flopped into the sea. He floated up to the surface of the ocean, screaming in pain from the flop. After a few minutes of screaming, he weakly grabbed onto a floating piece of The Barnacle Brig and looked back at The Harkaway. He could see a little dingy coming from it towards him, filled with skeletons. That was the last thing he saw before going unconscious.


George awoke on the floor, weak and in pain. The floor beneath him was made of moldy and rotten planks, as were the walls and ceiling. Around him were rusted up bars, enclosing him in a jail cell. Even with his noobish mind, he was able to figure that he was on The Harkaway. He weakly sat up, groaning from the pain. He noticed that his Lost Sword and other weapons were gone, taken by the skeletons that probably picked him up.

He looked around him, and saw that his friends had been picked up. Anton was trapped in a little bottle, sitting on a table. Britney was sitting in the corner of his cell, rocking back and forth, arms wrapped around his legs. Banana sat on a broken bench in her cell, with a defeated expression on her face. She saw George looking at her, and gave him a weak smile. Her clothes were tattered, and she had bloodshot eyes. George looked away to see Brandy laid sprawled out on the floor, with a bloody gash in his forehead. For once, he was without a bottle of some sort of drink. George took note of this. Probably too much note.

"BRANDY! YOU NEEDZ YOUR DRINK! :psmiley27::psmiley27::psmiley27:" he screamed. Everyone in the room immediately jumped up in shock from the loud noise, and the crew of The Brig stared at George. They heard the sound of a loud curse from outside.

"GEORGE YOU IDIOT!" Britney yelled. "WHY I OUTTA---"

Britney was silenced by the sound of a door opening. Everyone went silent and fearfully turned to the open door. A large skeleton walked in. He was wearing a large, captainy looking hat. On one of his hands was a strange device that looked like a combination between a sword and a pistol. One of his legs was something that looked like a donkey hoof.

"you!" George said, running up to the bars of his cage. "i demandeth to speak 2 your captin! teh living places here are icky, and you sunk meh ship! LET MEH TALK TO TEH CAPTAIN OR I WILL KILL YOU!"

The skeleton spat towards George and approached his cell. George scrambled back in fear, remembering how much he was afraid of skeletons.

The skeleton examined George before laughing so hard that it looked like he would cry. He soon ceased his laughing, and spoke.

"You want the captain, eh? Well foolish one, yer lookin' at him."


-------------------------------------

There's your chapter mates!

Lol, very nice, Davy! :D

Nice Davy!!
Best part!

Rotfl nice! I like it when he orders his crew to load the guns. LOL

LULZ. George is stupid :D.

I'll try and get the next chapter out sometime soon. :D

Iz wuld neva guest dat deyz.:D
For serious tho,fantastic funny story.

Stoopid Skeletimz

"Ha! W-wut kinda captain iz u?!" George said, stammering on his words. He was trying to be brave. It wasn't really working. Jolly Roger grabbed the door on his rusty jail cell and ripped it off as if he were tearing paper from a note-pad. He grabbed George around the throat with his bony hand, and lifted him up and stared into his eyes. The two were face-to-face.

"Excuse me?" Jolly asked.

"EWW. Tic-tac? U haz bad breathz." George complained, straining to keep his nose away from the source of the smell. Jolly Roger tightened his grip.

"Because of who I am, I have not eaten in ages." He whispered into George's ear. He dropped him and kicked him in the ribs. The two guard skeletons dragged George, who was gasping for air, back into his cell. They didn't bother put the door back on. They were sure George learned his lesson.

"Does anyone else care to hear WHY I'm such a horrible beast?!? HUH?!" Jolly was furious. He grabbed one of the guards and smashed it's skull on the wall. rotten bone shards flew everywhere. The headless undead stumbled around aimlessly. Almost as aimlessly as drunk old Brandy. ALMOST.

As Roger slammed the door to the brig, George was hyperventilating while trying to get air into his lungs. Everything went black.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When George awoke, the cells were empty. There was still that one guard skeleton. He saw George wake up.

"Stand up you fool!" He commanded. He had a strong French accent. George, still slightly groggy, followed instructions, for once. He waddled forward before the French guy grabbed his elbow and guided him forward.

"Uh.... yo French ded guy. Wus ur name?" George questioned him. The skeleton gave him a weird look.

"Tim. Now no more questions!" George took note of how much shorter Tim was.

"I'm gonna call u Skeletim, cuz u iz undead, and u iz named Tim."

"I said no more!"

"U say no more questionz. Dat was no question....." George said. WAIT WAIT WAIT. George made someone ELSE look like an idiot?! Dang, I gotta get my hands on some of this idiotic logic.

Tim shoved him. He was pretty strong for being about four and a half feet tall. After George tasted the floor, he decided it would be good not to say things like that again. Tim continued to guide him. The eventually came to some deck level. The rest of the crew were cleaning port holes. Brandy, who had a bandage wrapped around his forehead, was still drunk as could be. Instead of cleaning the port hole, he was scrubbing the wall right next to it. Banana poked him with her elbow and whispered something. Brandy stopped for a moment. He then proceeded to wash the other side of the wall. Banana shook her head and finished off her small window.

George walked over, picked up a sponge, dipped it in the semi-clean water, and started scrubbing the window that Brandy failed to cleanse. George looked around. Everyone had messy hair and dirty, tattered clothes.

"PSST! George!" Banana whispered, urgently.

"Wut.....?" George asked, extending the length of his speech.

"We need to get off this boat NOW."

"But Tim over dere," he said, pointing to the shorty, "won't even letz meh talk n stuf. An we no haz Anton, so we gunna phail if we try."

"Jolly didn't let Anton out of his bottle. He knew that he could take down half of his crew if he did. So he's up in the Captain's Quarters."

"Well dat iz sucky."

"Yea, so now we're stuck down here watching Brandy wash the same wall for hours, and Britney poke at the spot where his leg used to be."

"Oh ya, dat gotta be inconvenient." George said this a little louder then he meant to.

"HEY! SHUT UP!" Tim yelled at the two. They turned back to the port holes and scrubbed.

"Stoopid Skeletimz...." George muttered to himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

WOOT. New chapter :D Sorry for the delay ._______. ANYWHO, I apologize if it wasn't as funny :/ Trying to get more story in :P

Epic Chapter mate!!!

Lol, I loved that part.

Skeletim skeletim skeletim skeletim... I like it. I'll be using that in everyday conversation now! ....somehow........

I like the story! I'm currently writing a comedy about a noob and a high level who get transported to Pixie Hollow. I'll post it on the forums when I finish the first chapter. Probably not going to be as good as yours though. :)

LOL Ive been lurking and reading this whole time and u didnt know!

GREAT Story guyz. I'm looking forward to teh next chapterz

I fell off my chair in shock.LULZ.

Davy? Next chapter anytime soon?

Yeah, sorry guys. I've been really busy lately. Earlier this month I had finals and all that good stuff, and now I'm busy with other things. I'll see if I can get a chapter done sometime this week.

Hey guys, I'll have the next chapter out by AT LEAST Wednesday. If I forget, Davy will probably send me a PM along the lines of "GTN NAO. GO BOI. GOOOOOOOOO." So yea, I'll get it out :P

And again, it is time for another epic chapter!

P.S. James. It's both Davy and I's story. But I started it :P


Jolly came down the stairs slowly. The noise of his donkey leg stirred George.

"omg!!!!! HORSEY!!" George shouted with glee. Jolly reached the bottom of the stairs, turned to George, and slapped him with the back of his meatless hand. George collapsed on the spot. His fingers twitched.

"Pick up that greasy 'human' and bring him along, Tim." Jolly said, nudging the motionless George with his foot. Jolly walked back up the stairs with his hands behind his back. He shouted from the top, " And bring the others along too!"

"Yes Captain!" Tim yelled back. He collected everyone and led them up front while he threw George over his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tim guided them to the Captain's Quarters. Poor Banana had to support the weight of two people. Brandy was still drunk as to be, and Britney, with one leg, wasn't able to support himself. Tim had his hands full, so he dropped George into the door, opening it wide.

"He makes a wonderful door-stopper." He mumbled to himself. He led the others in, poking their backs with his sword. Inside, Jolly sat at a large, rotten table. He was sitting on a stool that looked twice as bad as the table. George woke up as Tim dragged him forward to close the door. He looked at the table.

"u knows, u should meet teh vikings. dey haz nice furniture." George noted, scrunching his face at the sight of everything in the room. Jolly glared at him.

"Enough of the nonsense boy." He commanded.

"but teh table iz-"

"NO MORE!"

"stoopid guy say no."

"NO! Wait.... You're pushing it!"

"pushing wut? i has been pulled all dis way." George was really starting to get into it.

"I will turn you and every one of your little friends into dust if you speak one more word." Jolly finally said, losing his patience.

"i will pull you armz off if u hurt meh fwiends."

"SILE-"

"shutz up! me waz no finish! den i will pull ur legs off! and den ur head! an den i will carve my name in ur spine. it will say 'george waz here in dis exact spot foo'." George said EXTREMELY fast as if he had thought of it beforehand. George is actually starting to become somewhat 'smart'.

"GEORGE! SHUT UP!" Britney yelled at him.

"NU! you be next brit boy!" George narrowed his eyes at Britney.

"ALL OF YOU SILENCE!" Jolly screamed, pounding his fist on the table, ultimately cracking it. "PIECE OF JUNK!" He picked up the table at threw it out the back of the ship through a hole that was already there.

"coughvikingscough" George said. Luckly Jolly didn't hear this. He had his hand over his face.

"Unfortunately, I cannot spare killing you, as I need information on The Burrito." Jolly said, he scraggly voice growing calm. "So tell me, what exact power does this said Burrito contain?" He asked. Anton knocked on the glass of his bottle. Jolly looked down. He used the dagger attachment on his hand to poke a hole in the cork. Big enough to let sound out, but not enough to let Anton out.

"The Burrito, if consumed, has the ability to give it's user massive flatulence capabilities." Anton said, gasping for air at the same time.

"I've no clue what that insect just said." Jolly responded.

"he says dat teh ultimate burrito givez big toots when u nom on it." George pointed out. Jolly nodded and smiled. He liked the whole idea.

"Now, where EXACTLY on Raven's Cove is it?"

"idk......." George mumbled.

"YES YOU DO! TELL ME YOU DAMN NOOB!" Jolly screamed at him.

"uh.......... teh public restroom?"

"Yes..... yes.... OF COURSE! Why did I not think of it before?! To hide such a beautiful cuisine in such a hideous place! LET'S GET TO RAVEN'S COVE MATES! WE NEED TO FIND THE BATHROOM!" Jolly cried with joy. He stormed out of the Captain's Quarters and commanded his crew.

"lulz. teh stoopid guy tinks duh burrito is in a potty." George laughed.

"George, for once, you were right." Anton sputtered.

"oh......poop...."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Well I'm sorry this chapter is like, WAAAAAAAAY late. My fault. ANYWAYS, I stuck a little Ikea reference in there :P tell me if you find it. Lots of dialogue in this chapter. But yea..... ENJOY FOO!

PIB, I think this may be the funniest yet. I swear, rofl is not enough to describe the laughter that was emanating from me. That was really, really funny. I'll write the next chapter.... sometime... soon...hopefully..

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
For once George gets something right,and discovers that it was the worst possible thing to get right.

BUMP!

Let's see some comments :D

Dis iz cool and stufz, but when teh next chapter coming out?

Hey Pib and Davy, can I write a chapter? i canz tak lik a noob u noez

Sorry andy, this is our little project. We already know exactly where we're going (not JUST the public restroom you know). Sorry I haven't been able to write the chapter mates... I'm on a trip right now, so its tough to find time. Maybe first week in August...?

Ok mate. Thats ok.

"Just five more minutes mommy..."

George felt the smack of a skeletal hand across his face, possibly dislocating his jaw, but George was more concerned that he had bitten his lip. He squealed in pain, spitting out drops of blood and panicking as if his whole jaw had been broken... oh, wait...

"Get up, fool!" Jolly Roger roared at George. He grabbed him by the collar of his shirt (which by now was in pretty rough shape) and hauled him to his feet. Jolly then punched George, sending him crumpling to the ground. George hit his head on the wooden floor, possibly bruising his brain... Ha! Like that would do much...

"Why did you push mehh?!?!?!1!/1?1" George asked, weakly getting up.

"Because you're a noob! And nobody likes noobs like you!" Roger replied. He grabbed George and shoved him into the crowd of his friends. George looked out one of the small portholes in the ship to see that it was just before dawn. Banana was cut up from stuff George was too stupid to figure out. Brandy was hyperventilating from alcohol deprivation, his eyes wide and red as cherries (George actually thought they were cherries and tried to bite them, only to have Banana swat him away). Britney, enraged as usual, was screaming (and every time he screamed he got smacked... he didn't seem to notice. Maybe he hates skeletons more than George...? nah...). He had been given a crutch to lean on, and had been given a crummy peg leg made of rotten wood. George shuddered as he watched a spider creep into a crevice inside the wood.

"We have arrived at the Port of the Burrito," Jolly said after they had all been rounded up.

"excooz meh, Mr. Bonehead sir," George said, raising his hand. Jolly glared at him. "cuz of all teh crowz n stuff and teh fact dat diz place is a bay, tiz actually called Crow's Bay."

"George," Anton said from inside his jar, which was being held by a skeleton. "You had the vision of the Spirit of the Burrito telling you it was Raven's Cove, not Crow's Bay..."

"I did?" George said stupidly, looking confused as ever.

"YES! THAT'S WHY WE CAME HERE AND GOT ATTACKED BY THIS IDIOT!" Britney screamed. Jolly prepared to punch him, but Britney ended up trying to slap George, only to lose his balance and fall on his face. "Ahh for the love of walnuts! I broke my nose! Bandage please?"

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Jolly roared. He looked red, and steaming... in fact, he may have actually been red and steaming. Or that was just blood in George's eyes from being slapped. "All of you are going to come with me to get the Burrito! I need you two, especially the dumb one, to help me find this thing. The public restroom could be just about anywhere. I'll need a bunch of idiot slaves to help me out. Will you be my idiot slaves?"

"Nu." George said.

"I'll pass..." Anton muttered.

"Appreciate the offer..." Banana muttered.

"I need rum..." Brandy said.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Britney screamed.

"That wasn't a question," Jolly replied, brandishing his pistol.

"Glad to help!" Banana said!

"when doez we goez?!"

"Sure..."

"RUM!!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"We leave at dawn!" Jolly said triumphantly. "...which is now... My army of undead is already attacking the town, destroying all of their defenses and leaving us a clear path for the restroom. My God that sounds wrong..."

"I haz question..." George asked, raising his hand.

"No," Roger replied firmly.

"k..." George replied sadly.

Jolly Roger walked up the steps in the room, taking them to the sunlight outside. Actually, it was cloudy, but it felt sunny considering George had been locked up for quite a while. The boarded the two dinghies that had been prepared for them at the side of The Harkaway. In one boat climbed Britney, Banana, and two skeletal guards. The other had George, Jolly, Brandy, the jar containing Anton, and two more skeletal guards. They began rowing the boat to the shore of Raven's Cove. The sounds of battle could be heard up ahead, and the sounds of crows up above.

Oh wait... Raven's....

--------------------------------------------------------

Sorry this chapter took so long, but it is finally finished! So here you are mates!

YAY! I'll try really hard to get the next chapter out by this next week. If not, I'll get Davy to pester me.

Hhaahaha, poor George. He's like a little kid in Kindergarten right there.

PIBBEH!!! GET TO WRITING!!! I needz teh endingz!!1!!eleventeen!!!:degen:

Love the story! Haven't read it in awhile, but I'm catching up. Keep up the great work guys!

EDIT: Finally read them all. ROTFLOL

I guess we'll never know George's question. ;)

Yayz! Finally teh new chapter! I iz gona wait for teh next one.

yayz for chaptarz.

The dinghies scraped across the gravel beach as the skeletal guards dragged them ashore. George stumbled along and gazed at the large, grey, island. It was huge, possibly 230 feet at the tallest cliff. Britney looked around, and his eye started to twitch.

"So... many....rocks. SO MANY. The bathroom could be anywhere! SO. MANY. ROCKS!!!" He screamed. Right after, Jolly flicked him in the side of the head, his great strength stunning Britney for a moment.

"I've got plenty of time," Jolly said, chuckling to himself. He stood there, arms crossed, watching his undead army kill the opposing forces and capture anyone who was unarmed. To the right was some large, sharp rocks, a rickety old fence, and a couple of shacks that were pretty well thrown together. To the left there looked to be a track and mine-cart. There were tools inside it, so it seemed the workers were interrupted. Over by the shacks, a skeleton threw a grenade, blowing up the side of one of the light wood buildings. Inside a man yelled before being shot. The skeletal soldiers were getting restless, starting to kill whoever they thought wasn't worthy of living.

"soooo... where doez we go firstz?" George asked.

"RUM!!!" Brandy howled.

"Will someone get this excuse for a man some rum?!" Jolly ordered. He was tired of listening to Brandy complain. One of the guards handed him a jug full of the stuff, and it was gone within a couple seconds.

"RUMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!" He howled a second time. The other guard pulled a couple trays of rum from the dinghy and started handing bottles to Brandy. Jolly moved up and started ordering several groups to search the area. He sniffed the air and sighed.

"I love the smell of blood in the morning," he said, then spun around and motioned for the others to follow. The crew, rope tied hands, shuffled along, their cut faces frowning. Except for George. He was trying to pick his nose with his hands behind his back. It looked like he was some sort of failed contortionist. Jolly facepalmed and then turned towards a rock and started knocking his head against it. About 30 seconds of this passed before he turned on his heels and flipped out.

"STOP WITH THE SHENANIGANS!!!!!!" He yelled at him, waving his arms in the air. George paused when looking up at him. His small brain started processing Jolly's anger. He looked down with disappointment moved along with the others. At one point they walked into what was obviously the town square. It was wide open with lots of buildings. Skeletons stood to the side, watching over frighted families. One man got frustrated and charged the soldiers. They shoved him onto a crate, and stabbed him through the sternum. His clenched fists went loose and a bony hand removed the sword. Banana watched this happen, cringing when the cutlass poked through the poor man. The group stopped as a couple of undead officers pulled Jolly to the side. They whispered some things to him and he smiled.

"Great news! We have found the bathroom!" He said cheerfully.

"oh noez," George whined.

~~~~~~~~

The rickety old elevator shook as it moved up, clicking and creaking.

"hey, Britney. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. hey. Britney, hey." George said repeatedly as they ascended.

"What, George." He said, annoyed.

"EARTHQUAKE!!!!!1111!!!!" George yelled, swinging the wooden lift.

"GEORGE YOU IDIOT!" Britney screamed angrily, before slipping off his crutch and slamming his face on a skeletal soldiers feet.

"Cease, both of you!" the soldier told them. George stopped, disappointed, and Britney wasn't helped up. When they reached the top with the others, George dragged him out and helped him up. Jolly ignored this and continued across the large rope bridge in front of them. Everyone went in a single file line. On the other side was a large hole with some water at the bottom. To the left was an entrance to a cave. Everyone looked in awe when they stepped inside. There were rock structures they had never seen before. But before they could stop and stare, they were shoved along by other soldiers. They eventually came to a large open area. In the very back, heavily guarded stood a building with two doors. Above one was an eye-patch. Above the other was an eye-patch with eyelashes.

"Welcome, mates, to the restroom." Jolly said, smiling.

~~~~~~~~~~

I'm sorry this took forever. I've barely had time to be active on the forums. Anywho, here it is, and it's actually a decent length I'd say. Not as much dialogue. And I apologize if it isn't as funny as it is gruesome/depressing. I tried to really capture the whole thing :) ANYWHO, I'll be getting the next chapter out whenever, cuz Tib has been pretty busy. Enjoy!

BUMP! :D

(The message you have entered is too short.)

Im going to need to start reading these again only got to the 5th chapter :(

LOL @ eyepatch.That was hilarious.

George's adventures make me laugh so much!

When's the next chapter? Me needs some noob action! :D

Are the series dead?

Not sure....

Nah, I think Pib just is really busy. I understand if he is.

Little Update
 

Alright, so here's the deal: the story is not dead. I'll admit I've been more lazy than busy these past months, and I apologize. There was times when I was able to, but I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to write. But do not fear! As a late Christmas gift I will be coming out with the next chapter before the end of December. Hopefully tonight, but I've been sick for a few days and my head is still all stuffed up, but I will try :) Again, I'm sorry about the lack of updates/chapters.

EDIT: The chapter should be coming out tomorrow, as I've been sick lately and haven't had the brains to write. I know, tomorrow isn't December, but it's the best I can do for you guys. Have a happy New Year!

OMG! Havent been on this for like a year, and only 3-4 FLEEBERING CHAPTERS CAME OUT

I am, however merciful, so..... yea.........




NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBS!

Teh REAL Burrito

"soooooo.... dis iz teh restroom?" George asked blankly.

"Of course! I cannot believe this has been here for so long without me noticing! I feel so brainless!" Jolly said, scolding himself.

"well.... um you haz no brain cuz you iz a-"

"I KNOW YOU ILLITERATE FOOL!" Jolly screamed, storming off in the general direction of the bathrooms. The crew followed slowly behind, wary of how angry they should make him.

"Sir," reported an undead soldier ", we've checked the little lasses room, to no avai-" Jolly took the gun contraption on his hand, and shot the soldier through the skull, leaving a gaping hole just above the bride of his nose.

"No avail you say? There is no such thing! Search harder!" He yelled. The hollow head then stumbled away screaming at his brothers who stared in silence. Jolly spit at his feet and continued towards the other door, the one with simply and eye-patch. George was attempting to raise his hand, which again was unfortunate because his hands were tied behind his back. Britney couldn't help but laugh at such a fail for a person.

"HAHAHA- He can't even thi- BAHAHA- Trying to raise his ha- HAAAAAAHAHAHAHA!" He bellowed. He then proceeded to trip and land on a rock. "OOOOOOOH my kidneys." He squeaked. After all of this, Jolly couldn't help but laugh at their stupidity. Soon the whole group was laughing, except George, who was still trying to raise his hand. Suddenly the door with the eye-patch burst open and a large built dead person charged out.

"SIR! We have found the requested weapon!" Jolly stopped laughing and turned towards the other soldier.

"Where is it?" He asked quizzically. He marched through the door and the laughing crew followed unknowingly. Brandy stumbled through the door and got a mouthful of dead flesh and bone. He had essentially ran right into the back of Jolly, who took no notice to it. He was too busy staring at something that was sitting in the sink.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY. HEY. HEY. HEEEEY. HEYYYYY. HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEEEEEEY." George yelled, trying to get attention. "I stil haz a qwestion!"

"WHAT!?" Everyone screamed.

"oh.... wen does i get to eat teh nom noms?"

"The Burrito?" Anton asked.

"YUS :D"

"Um.... Not any time soon I'm afraid."

"oh. sadface :("

Jolly scooped up the object in the sink and laughed manically.

"I've got places to be and people to yell at, can we leave now?" Britney asked obnoxiously.

"Yes, please. This place smells." said Banana.

"RUUUUUUUUUUM *hic* Oh.... wait." screamed Brandy.

"Indeed..." Observed Anton.

"no nom noms for george :("

Jolly shoved past all of them and walked to the mouth of the cave.

"Ladies, gentlemen, dead people! I give you," Jolly announced ", The Lost Burrito!" He spun around and held it in the air, for all to stare at in awe.

"Now, my undead army, gather towards me! Together we shall seal this excuse for a crew inside this dreadful cave!" As he said this, every creature and non-living person that occupied the cave lumbered over. The noob crew was thrown against the rocks and were unable to get up. A small green-skinned person climbed above the cave mouth and planted a large barrel. There was a long silence, and then a hissing noise. As the undead army ran, Jolly just gave George a grim smile and walked away slowly. And then the explosion happened.

KABOOM!

Dust settled.

"AHHHHHHH! AH! AHHH! AAAAAH!" George screamed.

"George, shut up." Banana said weakly.

"AHHH! AAAAH! HAH AH AHHHHH!"

"GEORGE."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"GEORGE!"

"AHHHH! AHH- wait, boom boom iz over..."

"Thank you..."

"AHHHHH!"

"GEORGE YOU MANIAC!"

"WAIT! k me iz good." George was then smiling like nothing had ever happened. Oh, how this would not end well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There you go guys! It feels great to finally write like a noob again :D Hope you enjoyed!

BUMP :O

(I feel bad bumping ._.)

That was quite funny. The screaming is always a fun addition, haha. I will try to write the next chapter when I have time.

Tib, I believe it's your turn. :P

WHOA!

Please ignore the fact that I was supposed to write this about a year and a half ago. Excuse me while I put my noob cap back on and try to finish this masterpiece. We're nearing the climax of the story, so there isn't quite as much humor, but read on!

Not so Nooby

If it weren't for the fact that Britney's head was glowing red with anger, it would have been pitch black. He also was thankfully keeping them all warm in the freezing cold of the cave, since he was always steaming with rage.

"WE ARE GOING TO DIE HERE IN HERE!!!!!" Britney screamed.

Brandy sat on the rocky ground and shook his head. "Uhh... how did I get here... what's going on...?"

"Oh God, this can't be," Anton said in shock. "I think that Brandy is sober. He hasn't had anything to drink in ages!"

"Who the Hell is Brandy?" Brandy asked grumpily. "I'm pretty sure that my name is - "

Before he could finish, George knocked him unconscious with a rock. "NO! UR NAME IS BRANDY! GETZ IT? BRANDY!!!111!"

"George, what the devil are you doing!?" Banana yelled.

"Itz okayz Banana! I iz gon save us all! :zn3lnn: "

Banana could no longer contain her anger. She stared directly at George, and spoke. "No George! No you won't! I've tried to be patient with you, and I've tried to be encouraging, but no longer! All of this? Us getting stuck here? It's YOUR fault! You're the reason why we're all stuck here, and why we're all about to die! Since you probably didn't understand the first time, I'll say it again. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, AND YOU ARE A MISERABLE FAILURE!"

If it had been Britney or Anton screaming in his face, George probably wouldn't have paid much attention. But this was different. This wasn't an angry British person missing half a leg or a beefed up ladybug. This was Banana, who he had loved and actually regarded as a semi-normal human being.

George's eyes welled with tears, and he soon began bawling like a little kid (which may or may not be appropriate, since nobody really knows how old he is...). He ran off into the dark cave beyond everyone else. The former crew of The Barnacle Brig listened to the sound of his footsteps and sobbing fading away. There was also the sound of him tripping and falling onto his face, but the running away quickly resumed. Eventually, they could no longer hear him.

"Geez Banana, even I think that was a bit harsh..." Britney said, looking at Banana in a more sane than normal fashion.

Banana looked away from the group. "Well, someone needed to say it. And it isn't like it matters anymore. All of us are doomed anyway." Nobody saw, but there was just a tinge of sadness in her expression

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

George kept running through the pitch black caverns. He ended up needing to change course once every fifteen seconds or so, since he was constantly smashing into walls and falling over in the darkness. Good thing nobody was there to see him; his face was a lot uglier than before due to all of the scratches and bruises, and the fact that his nose had been broken more times in the last day than anyone should ever have it broken in a lifetime.

At some point, George saw a strange, orange light in the distance. He made his way towards the light, and heard voices chattering as well. He started shivering as well, it had gotten too cold for noobs like him down here.

He turned a corner, and saw the sources of the orange light. In the center of a small cavern was a pair of glowing, orange people. George stared blankly at them, and they turned back to stare at him. Their hollow eyes glowed red with hate.

George stared at them in fear. "OMGz, I iz sory for interrupting your... whateverz yous were doingz!"

The two glowing orange men approached George. They looked like they were covered in glowing, radioactive vomit to George. George wished his vomit could glow like that. That would be epic. He didn't have too much time to daydream about that though. One of the men spoke.

"Who dares enter the caves of El Patron?" he hissed. "Only the dead may enter..."

The other man held up his hand. In a voice that seemed eerily goofy considering his intimidating appearance, he said, "Hey Phil, wait a minute! This guy isn't living! He's dead, just like us! Look at his face! No living guy could pull off something that hideous!"

The other man, Phil, groaned and spoke in a similar voice. "Aww man, but I love scaring the new guys! Why do you always need to be the party pooper Bill?"

George looked at them sadly. "Y u no kill me? I just deserve it anywayz... I iz a terrible person... I always mess everything up..."

Phil n Bill sat down next to George. Phil spoke. "Aww, come now buddy? What happened?"

"I make my crew angry. Now they're all going to die... iz all my fault..."

Bill sighed. "Look man, I'm not a very bright guy - "

Phil interrupted. "Bill, you're glowing pretty bright."

"Shut up you moron. Let me finish!" Phil sighed. "As I said, I'm not too bright, but I know a thing or two about failing. Look, I made a number of failures back when I was living. I failed many people, including myself. It took me decades of reflection after I died and ended up as a ghost like this to figure out what really matters. It isn't what you did. It's what you're going to do. Now kid, I think you have some potential. There are great things ahead of you. What are you going to do about it?"

George looked the strange, glowing man in the eyes. "You... you tinkz dat I haz potential? I... I iz not just......"

George didn't finish. His mind snapped somewhere else. He had never been given a compliment like this before. He had potential? He could actually amount to something? It was as if by those simple words of encouragement, he had reached a sort of enlightenment. His eyes, normally facing apart, came together to look straight forward. He understood the concept of proper grammar. His posture improved. Something resembling a brain began to form inside of his head.

Needing to do something epic, George stood up and unsheathed the Lost Sword of El Patron. He held it high above his head. Before he could say anything, Phil and Bill gasped in astonishment.

"Well look at that Phil," Bill breathed. "It's the boss's sword! Y'know what that means?!"

"Oh yeah..." Phil said. "He's the boss now."

Suddenly, more of the ghosts (George could actually understand that they were ghosts now) pooled into the cavern from the walls and outside. There was a collective muttering, something about "The boss is back". Before long, there were at least fifty of them gathered in the cavern. After a few moments, they all began bowing to George.

"Your crew awaits your command, Captain," Phil and Bill said at the same time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~

Anton, Brandy, Britney, and Banana sat in the cavern silently. Even Britney had shut up. They had found a half-drank bottle of rum on the ground to give to Brandy to keep him quiet.

Anton broke the silence. "Hey... what's that light coming towards us from that tunnel?"

They all sat up and stared. As the orange glow grew nearer, they saw what it was. A group of glowing ghosts marched toward them, armed with an assortment of weapons, from swords to knives to a few portable cannons.

Britney hopped over to them, screaming with glee. "YES! PLEASE! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY! PLEASE!!!!!!"

The ghosts stopped and stood still, staring straight at the group.

"WELL!?" Britney screamed.

The ghosts uniformly parted down the center, and a figure, one that was not glowing, walked towards the crew of The Barnacle Brig.

Anton hovered in midair, staring in disbelief. "What? It can't be... you look so... non-noobish? George, is that you?"

It was indeed. George stood in front of all the ghosts, looking at his crew, smiling a smile that was by no means noobish, and in perfect English, he replied:

"Indeed it is me. Now, let's go get ourselves a Burrito."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Again, the story is coming to a climax. I see this being done in two chapters, three at most. There wasn't quite as much humor in this one, so I apologize. I hope that there are still even people who even read this story on these forums. Seeing even one comment would be amazing!

Now if Pib could do his part quicker than I did, that would be incredible! Let's finish this story!

Tibby.... that was fantastic. GTNATQFTLB IS BEING REBORN.

EDIT: I'll try to pump out my chapter within the next couple days :)

YAY CHAPTER

I See Ded Peoplez

Everyone was paralyzed with shock. They couldn't believe it. Was this really George? No, it couldn't have been. There must be a mistake. But it could only be him. He was carrying the Lost Sword.

"George... you... look.... not broken," Banana said in awe, "And rather handsome."

"By God he actually is a man!" Anton exclaimed.

"WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE HAPPENED EARLIER?!" Britney screamed.

"I guess my name really is Brandy... who's George?" Brandy said confusedly. He seemed to not remember anything. He was as lost as you could possibly be.

"Get that fine gentleman some alcohol." George directed. He pointed his sword towards Brandy, or whoever he really was, and the ghosts brought forward several large crates filled to the brim with bottles of rum. Brandy didn't question a thing.

"So, Captain, what's your special plan on getting out of this hellhole?" Phil asked with his arms crossed.

"You guys have got some cannons, right?" the new Captain George questioned.

"Aye, plenty."

"Let's take 'em and put a big hole where that entrance used to be."

"Sounds like a plan, Captain. You heard him boys-"

"HEY!" a female voice whined from the middle of the group.

"-AND Marlene! Now go roll some of those cannons in!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The ghosts were extremely efficient, they didn't even stop to rest. Probably because they were dead. But that's beside the point. The presence of a new captain inspired them to great lengths. Many seemed to be glowing brighter than before.

While the ghostly crew set up, the ORIGINAL crew went over what had happened.

"So, you're saying, something inside your head popped, and you instantly felt better?" Anton asked.

"Aye. I still feel the stupid side of me pressing to come out. But it only makes its way through occasionally." George answered.

"George *hic* what in the *hic* world happ*hic*ened....?" Brandy said quizzically. He was wasted again already, and had switched back to his drunken memories. I'm just as confused that that's a thing as you are.

"He got beautiful..." Banana said dreamily. Everyone turned to look at her and she blushed.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING INSIST ON SHOWING UP LATE?! WHY?! WE WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS BROKEN AND BEAT IF HE HAD JUST COME TO REALIZATION FASTER!" Britney screamed, furious as ever.

"As far as *hic* I'm concerned *hic* you're the only *hic* broken one here." Brandy managed in his tipsy voice.

"DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH YOU! YOU'VE BEEN DRUNK THIS ENTIRE 'QUEST', AND JUST AS YOU SOBERED UP, YOU WENT BACK AND POISONED YOURSELF AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"

"You want *hic* some?" Brandy offered him a bottle. Britney started to cry and grabbed a bottle. He took about two swigs and then went insane again, hopping up on his one foot, waving his arms, and throwing the bottle all in one swift movement. Then he fell on his face and broke his nose again. And then he cried. Again.

"We're almost as pathetic as before." Anton said as he facepalmed. Well, facelegged. Yea. That's a thing too.

"Look guys, I have a plan. None of you need to worry either. These ghosts are a lot more solid than they look." George thrust his arm outward, gesturing towards the group of ghouls. Everyone turned to the direction he was pointing. There was a short, fat and balding man with a large piece of ham in one hand and a rusty dagger in the other, which he happened to be using to pick his nose with.

Everyone sighed.

"Alright, in all seriousness, what is your plan, George?" Banana asked.

"Well, I'm glad someone is interested." They all huddled together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

KABLAM!

The ring of the cannon shots seemed to go on forever in Brandy's ears. Well, everything seemed to ring infinitely. He was drunk 110% of the time.

As the smoke started to clear, George attempted to give an inspiring speech, but as his nerves got to him, the noob within him took over.

"BURRO-" Anton slapped him quickly "-BURRITO!" The crowd shouted back in agreement.

"RUUUUUU*hic*UUUUUM!!" Brandy screamed from the back, his voice cracking. The crowd shouted in agreement to this too. Then the dust settled and the smoke had risen, and through the ashes they marched.

Waiting for them on the other side was a group of five undead soldiers. George rushed them and sliced at a downward angle, cutting one clean through from the shoulder to the hip causing it to stumble around before completely falling apart. He then stabbed another one right in the collar bone, but his sword got stuck. The confused skeleton looked down, wondering what was going on. Another undead ran at George, but he reacted by throwing his elbow into the jaw of the skeletal being, sending his skull down into the large crater filled with water. George then turned back to his sword, still embedded in the collarbone, and he kicked the soldier in the ribs. His sword slid right out, and the confused skeleton stumbled backward a bit before the chubby ghost with the ham charged at him.

"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" shouted the ghost, before he tackled the undead soldier and the two of them sailed over the edge of the hole. The last two skeletons looked around, dropped their weapons, and jumped into the hole too.

George turned around and looked at the crowd puzzled. They all shrugged, and then cheered. George went with it. He looked over at Banana who couldn't help but giggle. They continued on.

As they crossed the rope bridge, they were singing as if they had already won. But they were far from it. Below, Jolly's remaining forces continued to beat upon the now nearly defenseless citizens. It was a slaughter. But alas, they continued to sing.

George, Banana, Brandy, and Britney all squeezed into the elevator down. Anton flew, and all the ghosts just jumped. They were ghosts, they had nothing to worry about. When they all reached the bottom, they were surprised by the sheer mass of Jolly's army.

All the undead had 1000 yard stares, unaffected by the amount of glowing orange people surrounding them. As if it were normal, all the skeletons drew their weapons at the same exact time. The ghosts did just the same. And then the battle commenced.

George dove right in, slicing up his enemies as easily as he had a couple minutes prior. Anton flew overhead, giving orders and occasionally diving down and getting into the mix of things. Banana fought gracefully as she always had. Brandy ran into battle hiccuping every step, and swinging his hands in every direction he could. Britney didn't do a thing. He just gave the undead soldiers as deathly a stare as they had, occasionally screaming in their faces, and they would walk away.

The ghosts were an entirely different story. Bill n Phil fought like a mixture between George and Brandy. It was all over the place, but it got the job done well. The rest of the crowd seemed fairly experienced. Even Marlene was doing pretty good.

Slowly, George's army made their way through, eventually passing by the mine-cart, under the arch, and into the town. It was a mess. Bodies of innocent people were piling up. Families cowered in dark corners before skeletons would find them and kill them too. But, almost instantly, every skeleton stopped what they were doing, and turned to the glowing group.

The two legions clashed, both fighting fiercely for their cause. Undead crumbled, ghosts vaporized, both sides receiving heavy losses. George swiped and took off the head of one soldier, and charged another one, kicking upward into his pelvis. Nothing. Oh, yea, it was all old dried bone. He ducked as the skeleton tried to slice him, and tackled the undead into another one. He stomped on both of their rib cages, shattering them in doing so. Another soldier came flying at him, his sword raised above his head. George parried and cut the skeleton into multiple sections. Suddenly, he felt a surge of energy. He looked down at himself. He was glowing green! And transparent! He looked at his sword again, and it too was transparent and green. He decided he didn't have time to question it and instead fought on seemingly unaffected by the weapons of his enemy.

Soon enough, the ghost army was wearing thin and George was no longer in his powerful state. They were easier to get rid of than the undead. Aware of this George grabbed Banana, who almost stabbed him thinking he was a skeletal soldier.

"Banana, our friends have fought well, but many are falling to the swords of Jolly's men. I couldn't let anything happen to you or the rest of our crew." George shouted over the clang of metal. Around them the battle raged on.

"What are you insisting?" Banana asked, worriedly.

"I want you guys to return to the cave. There is enough gunpowder left over to seal yourselves in and enough to free yourselves once this is over."

"But George, why would we seal ourselves away if we can help you here?"

"... I'm going to fight Jolly, retrieve The Burrito, and eat it." A light rain started as George said this.

"No... no... no George! You can't!" Banana yelled, choking back tears.

"I have to! It's the only possible way to stop Jolly in his tracks! Otherwise he'll continue to wreck havoc on the Caribbean!"

"But this isn't part of the plan you were going to destroy The Burrito!"

"I'm afraid that's no longer an option. Banana, please. You must go on. Tell everyone what happened here. THAT is your duty right now."

"But... George... I love you..." Banana said. She looked down, almost embarrassed and defeated. George lifted her chin.

"I know." He said, and then he kissed her. George wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so they kind of hung at his side awkwardly. After what seemed like an okay forever, Banana pulled away, and smiled. George smiled back. "Now get going!"

"Yessir!" Banana saluted, gave George a quick hug, and then ran to find the others.

George returned his thoughts to the battle. stepping out of one of the buildings was Jolly. In his free hand The Burrito seemed to gleam with power.

"JOLLY!" He shouted, his nerves got to him and he spoke like a noob again "1v1 mi irl bro!"

Jolly laughed, slipped The Burrito into a pocket and stepped forward.

George stood up straight, pulling himself together. He had a sudden boost of confidence.

Now was his time. Now was the time of The N00b.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting back into this was harder than I thought. This took me TWO hours. AND it's pretty late. Anyways, here you go! I'm aware it isn't as funny as most, but these last couple chapters will take a bit more of a serious note.

Regardless, enjoy :)

POF closes tomorrow, but by God, if it's the last thing I do on this forum, I am bringing a finale to this epic tale.


Strangely George was terrified. For most people, this would have been normal. After all, he was facing the leader of the skeleton army and a master of voodoo. For George; however, fear did not exist as a noob. For noobs, a sort of a dumb confidence replaced fear. But now that he could think, he actually felt fear. But it was this fear that drove him. He was no longer fighting for the sole purpose of a burrito that possessed great power; no, he was fighting for his friends and against his foes. For what he believed was right.

George drew his sword.

"Do you really intend to take on I, Jolly Roger?" Jolly taunted. "You're just a pathetic noob."

"No," George stated firmly.

"...well if you're not here to take me on, then why are you here?" Jolly asked, confused.

"No," George stepped forward and held his sword in a ready position. For once, he held his balance. "I am still here to take you on. I said 'no' because I am in no way a noob."

Jolly stared shocked for a moment, before breaking out into a crazed laughter. George watched, but no anger seethed inside of him. In the midst of Jolly's laughing fit, George lunged forward and in one fluid motion, sliced off two of Jolly Roger's dreadlocks.

The laughter stopped.

"Well then," Jolly sneered. "I see how it has to be."

Using the blade-gun hybrid weapon attached to his arm, Jolly cleaved down on George with such ferocity that the latter was knocked to the floor, despite a clean block.

"I'll make your death quick," Jolly stated. "I have a burrito's power to harness."

Jolly attempted to stab George, but George rolled to the side in time to dodge the blow and get back on his feet. From there, the exchange commenced. Jolly was far more skilled than any opponent that George had faced, including that one mean Mercenary up in Fort Charles. Each blow had power behind it like none that George had ever seen before(which didn't seem to make sense, since Jolly was really only skin and bone, but without the skin).

They continued their blade dance, but George was slowly being overpowered. He needed some sort of advantage. Jolly dealt a powerful sideways slash that knocked George briefly defenseless, and he dealt a powerful kick with his hoof into George's chest. George flew backward about ten feet before landing painfully on a wooden ramp. He groaned in pain and tried sit up. His left shoulder hurt especially. He glanced at it, and noticed a loose, rusty nail stabbed into it. George crawled to his feet and took a quick look at his surroundings. It was then that he realized he had found his advantage. Before him stood an elevator, with a lever attached that may still work.

"Are you finished yet!?" Jolly asked, calmly walking over to George.

George stepped into the small, wooden elevator. He prayed that the pulley still worked.

"Not just yet, bonehead!" George pulled the lever, and to his relief and surprise, the elevator shot upward. He took a moment to breathe as the elevator ascended at least 100 feet before stopping at the top. He stepped off of the elevator and examined the rocky canyon before him. Now that he was up here, he wasn't quite sure what to do. Just as he began to formulate a plan, though, a green mist began to appear in front of him, rotating in one, tall column. After several seconds, a thunderbolt struck the mist, which dispersed and revealed Jolly Roger.

"You forget my power, fool," Jolly scowled. He charged at George in the hope of knocking him off the edge of the cliff. George managed to sidestep and deliver a quick slash to the pocket holding the burrito, which tumbled out of the pocket and off of the cliff.

"No!" the two both yelled simultaneously. They quickly redirected their attention back to the fight though, which Jolly was clearly winning. George's shoulder wound was weakening, and his back was in agony from his hard landing. Jolly took advantage of this and purposely attacked George's weaker side. It didn't take long for him to deliver an agonizing wound to George's left collar. George stumbled back, but he clung to his sword. Jolly smashed George's head with his arm apparatus, and George tumbled into the elevator.

Jolly cackled. "Well, normally I would say that I expected better, but I really didn't. Prepare to die, George the Noob."

Jolly shot the rope holding the elevator up, and it fell toward the base at a speed that George knew would be fatal to him inside. Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. He saw the sky fading away, and Jolly's maniacal laughter at the top of the cliff. He thought of Anton, who he had admired so much and who had started this journey. He thought of Brandy, who was probably completely completely sober by now. He thought of Britney, who he really had mistreated. Most of all, he thought of Banana. All he hoped for was that he didn't let her down.

Just as the elevator was reaching the base, however, George noticed something change. Right before the elevator and the base collided, there was a bright green glow that came from his body. He felt the impact, but it didn't hurt. Wooden planks flew everywhere, and the light of the sky was blocked from George's vision by debris that covered him.

George realized that it was the Lost Sword that had saved him. The Ghost Form had kept him from dying. Still glowing green, George began to shift through the rubble, trying to get out. He still had a chance.

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Jolly appeared at the base. He glanced quickly at the rubble of the elevator base and quickly concluded that his foe was indeed dead. There wasn't a way on Earth that anyone, let alone a pathetic noob like George, could survive that fall, especially in his condition.

Finished with that interruption, Jolly began looking for the burrito that had dropped. Unable to find it, though, he quickly became frustrated, and let out a roar of anger.

"Looking for this?" a voice said from behind him. Jolly whirled around, and his jaw dropped.

Before him stood George, surrounded by a glowing green aura that faded away quickly. In one hand was his sword. In the other was the Lost Burrito. Only then did Jolly feel an emotion he was unaccustomed to: fear.

"Boy, put that down, you don't know what you're dealing with," Jolly said slowly.

George took a deep breath. "No Jolly, I know exactly what I'm dealing with. This must be done."

Then, George did the unthinkable. He ate the burrito. The effect was almost instantaneous. His stomach bubbled, and he felt an extremely uncomfortable feeling in his gut that grew worse every second. He knew exactly what was about to happen.

"NOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Jolly screamed.

"I'm sorry... everyone..." George winced in agony. The gas buildup became too much to bear, and George released a fart with the energy of every cannon in the royal navy combined.

Then, there was darkness.







Banana, Brandy, Britney and Anton crawled out of the cave. They had heard the explosion outside two days ago. They could smell the fallout from inside, so they waited for a few days to let the air clear. It was deathly silent. From the cliff that they stood at, they could see the ruins of the town. There was not a living soul in sight. The town, once charming and lively, had become little more than ruins.

"What happened here...?" Brandy muttered.

Britney screamed out of impulse. While his scream was no longer particularly disturbing to the group, the fact that it echoed for at least ten seconds through the cove was.

Anton smacked Britney over the head. "Come on guys, it looks like that rope bridge is broken. I'll need to fly you over the chasm one at a time."

After they had been flown across, they continued down the path through the canyon, which led to the elevator that they had seen before. Unfortunately, it had been broken, and Anton needed to fly them down the cliff again. By the time that he had finished, he noticed that everyone was staring at something. Puzzled, he examined the area before him and gasped. Before them all was a massive crater, and at the bottom of it was a man.

"GEORGE!" Banana screamed. She ran to the bottom of the crater and knelt next to him. "George, wake up! George! George! Please, wake up!"

She began sobbing and held George's body close, as if she were afraid that it would leave her. Brandy quickly joined her, a few tears in his eyes too. Even Britney shed tears, and crawled into the crater with the others.

Only Anton remained at the top. He landed on the ground and knelt on his little ladybug knees. He stared at his friends, crying next to their fallen hero. Their fallen friend. Just several weeks ago, George was nothing more than a simple noob. Nobody had ever given him a chance to prove his worth, or shown him sympathy, or been his friend. Anton couldn't even remember what he saw in him when they first met. There was just some little spark in there. Something that told him that this noob, this man, would amount to something great.

And he did.

Anton felt funny. His face felt wet, but it wasn't raining. Suddenly it dawned upon him: he too was crying. Never before had he felt this way. Nobody had touched him like George had. He flew down into the crater to join his friends.

They spent several minutes sobbing over George's lifeless body before Banana stood.

"I don't care what anyone says," Banana stated. "He was a hero. He was my hero."

They all looked at her and slowly nodded.

"Aye," Brandy nodded.

"Aye," Britney agreed.

"Aye," Anton said.

"In the end, it didn't matter the destructive path he left," Banana said, looking each of her crewmates in the eyes. "In the end, he made a choice he wasn't capable of even thinking about just a mere month ago. George gave his life for the Caribbean. The Caribbean should give his life meaning.


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After the destruction of Raven's Cove, the remaining crew of the Barnacle Brig stowed away aboard a passing merchant vessel. While they kept in touch, they largely went their separate ways and pursued their own interests, but always kept George, and each other, in their hearts.

After realizing his potential when sober, Brandy attended the University of Oxford in England and earned a doctoral degree in psychology. He is now a counselor for recovering alcoholics in London.

Britney, taming the power of his screaming voice, went on to become a singer under the name Peg Leg. He currently tours the Caribbean on concerts and just released an album by the name of Leg in the Water, after his lost limb. In his free time, he runs a charity dedicated to helping noobs realize their potential.

Banana became the first woman to join the crew of a vessel in the Royal Navy. She eventually became promoted to captain and was given command of her own ship, which she titled the Barnacle Brig II in memory of her former crew.

Anton returned to Isla Tormenta, where he began searching for a new adventure in the form of Davy Jones's heart. He hopes to stab it one day and become the first insect to captain the Flying Dutchman.

And that, my friends, is the tale of George the Noob and the Quest for the Lost Burrito.

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AND THAT'S IT! It's finished! Finally finished! May George and his tale rest in peace. :)

WE DID IT. GTN HAS FINALLY COME TO A CLOSE.

I'd like to thank everyone who supported this story, even if Tibby and I we're terrible at posting chapters on time. Like years late.

I'd also like to thank Tibby for agreeing to write this story with me. It's been 3 years coming but we finally did it.

<3 for all

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I forgot how amusing you two were.
You're awesome.
Thank you.