I convince you that Captaining a ship is no good to you. I then persuade you to hand the deed to me.

ICOTS.

Your not Captain of the Ship. Therefore, we need a Captain. I step up to the job.

ICOTS

I once again persuade you to leave the ship, and walk the plank. I am declared captain by the crew.

ICOTS.

That was my stunt double, Lazy Davy. I am hidden in the crew, and kill you in your sleep.

ICOTS

Nobody elected you, so the crew disposes of you. I manage to live on through the dagger stuck in my side when you tried to kill me. The crew takes this as a sign of toughness, and re-elect me.

ICOTS.

As you are dramatically walking down the staircase to greet your new crew, you trip, fall, hit your head on a stair, break your head, and die. The crew decides to reelect me.

ICOTS.

THERE :D

I didn't need a brain. I slap you overboard.

ICOTS.

That was my stunt triple, Dany Fiyaskall. I take an army of stunt doubles and they kill you.

ICOTS

I take my army of stunt TRIPLES and kill you and your meager army, and then emerge from the shadows, for the person you killed was me lackey.

ICOTS.

I press - _ -

ICOTS

I walk up to you, kick your shin. You jump up and down, and I shove you off the ship.

ICOTS

I shoot you in the shin, and you are crippled. I take over.

ICOTS.

I press the big red button

ICOTS

No Muffin, that is not the Expresso button! It's the World Destruction butto-

Nobody is captain of the ship.

- Banned -

There are now 4 bottles of rum on the wall...