Davy Jones finds me annoying, so he lets me free. I fly out of the ocean, and land on Witchdawka Dayn, breaking every bone in his body. I then get up, brush my clothes off, and resume being Captain of this ship.

ICOTS

You break every bone in my body... sculpture. I keep a life size replica of myself around at all times, for security reasons and to scare people. I then sift your head with a well tossed Sidewinder.

ICOTS

That was my stunt quadruple (what are we on now...?) Favy Direskull. I kill you when you aren't looking.

ICOTS

Yes, You Jefferson is my favorite cannoneer. You will pay for killing him, Davy. I then keelhaul you, an old pirate punishment which involved dragging one under the ship and getting cut by the razor sharp barnacles on the hull. I "forget" to take you out and you drown.

ICOTS

I buy my own ship.

ICOTS.

It's a light sloop. It sinks in a drizzle.

ICOTS

I then persuade Davy Jones to bring back a ship of the line by the name of Queen Anne's Revenge for me.

ICOTS.

Since you are historically inaccurate, Bosun from Davy Jone's crew is made captain.

ICOTS... Well, my ship.

I persuade him to jump overboard. I declare myself captain. Nobody objects.

ICOTS.

You slip on the deck on your way up the stairs. Somehow, this makes you explode.

ICOMS (I'm captain of my ship)

I reform on your ship, and keelhaul you for keeping on interfering with my fate, even though your not even on my other ship!

ICOYS.

I'm Captain of your ship.

I cleaned the ship's hull just before. It's like a nice bubble bath, with a hold your breath contest mixed in. I cut the rope whilst on my way down, causing it to sling around and decapitate you. I then swim up and crawl on deck; and the crew, thinking I was Poseidon, crowns me captain.

ICOTS

Got to admit, that was funny.

I use your voodoo powers to reattach my head. I then throw you overboard, two water-filled barrels tied to your legs, into shark-infested waters.

ICOTS.

Icots
 

Read my post on page 22. YOU ARE ALL DEAD!!!!!!

ICOTS

The sharks are extremely stupid. They throw me back. And since you fail at voodoo, a magnetic reaction happens when I land on deck, both of us being negatively charged. You are sent flying backwards at several hundred MPH, shooting off into the horizon. The crew now fully believes I am Poseidon and crowns me King of the Ship. I don't object.

IKOFTS