Granted, but you will never be happy unless you have an ocean.

I wish for an ocean.

Granted, but it turns into acid and burns you alive.

I wish for a chair.

Granted, but Goldilocks broke it.

I wish for happiness in an unbreakable jar.

Granted but Jack charms you into giving it to him.

I wish for an interesting book to read.

Granted, the first three letters are the most interesting thing you've ever read!

I wish that I was a Super Pirate.

Granted, but the navy, eitc, and skeletons are your kryptonite.

I wish for bird seed.

Granted but it is an actual seed that will grow a half bird, half plant thing that will eat you and then the entire planet!!

I wish for a Sammich.

I haven't a clue what that is, and I'm your wish granter, so you just get a giant ERROR sign instead.

I wish for a flower.

Granted, but it's the corpse flower and it smells awful.

I wish for the magic leprachaun :p

Granted, it bites your kneecaps and runs away.

I wish for a green spotty dish.

Granted, but it breaks.

I wish for the next poster not to be DP or andy

Granted, but I'm andyspins

I wish for a famous game to be created by me.

Granted, it's famous as the worst game ever created.

I wish I could lick my elbow.

Granted, but it tastes awful and your toungue falls off.

I wish for a fish on my dish.

Granted, but it's the puffer fish. You grab it, realise it's still alive, it puffs up... ouch.

I wish for a can full of lemonade.