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whenever they launch their ship it will notify you. you can then go to any dinghy and when you hit shift, and get to the launch screen, their ship will show up. crews only last for the time period you're both logged in however. so if you want to continue to play with them you need to friend them.
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Make a girl pirate you say?! Alright, but she's gonna look trampy... She might have a gambling problem, too. 
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