I would flatteringly compare myself to Disney's portrayal of the keelboatman Mike Fink, king of the river! He was one of my arrogant, rowdy, boa****l, roughhousing, trouble causing, hat eating, but good in the end boyhood heroes. I think this sums Mike Fink up nicely...
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I can out-run, out-jump, out-sing, out-swim, out-dance, out-shoot, out-eat, out-drink, out-talk, out-cuss, out-fight anybody in the whole Mississippi and Ohio Rivers put together!
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Might be a stretch of a comparison, but we can pretend right?