Thread: Her Beginning
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:20 PM
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Quote:
Again, not the most exciting chapter, but I promise you it will come!
I am going to disagree with you;-) It may not be all action, but it is still exciting the way you are weaving the thoughts and feelings of your character into the action of the POTCO plot. I am thoroughly enjoying another viewpoint on the happenings and possible other meanings of events that I just more or less took at face value. This is a very well written story though you might want to do a bit of editing on the above chapter............a few words were left out. For example:

Quote:
She took another sip before saying, “I have things today.”

Josie looked at her in surprise. “Things to do? But you just got here.”

Minor issue and doesn't matter, but did slow me down a bit while reading and I really, REALLY wanted to read fast.
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