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Due to the sulfur in his eyes, he became blind, when he became blind he realized that he had left his sword all the way back home and he had dropped his pistol in a rock that is 1000 feet below the volcano, and there is no way to possibly reach the volcano, even if you were to use a rope which would fail miserably, even after he noticedthis he ran into a rock thatw as right in front of him due to his blindness and reached for an empty handle with no sword and then tried to reach over to his pistol which wasn't there at the time, due to him being clumsy and lazy he falls off the volcano and lands in an Indian town where there's free rum., but the only cost of getting the rum is to be able to have a sword and battle with the elder, and due to not having a sword he is unable to obtain his precious rum and goes thirsty for a few days until he finds a sword at a rock which is incredibly shiny and pulls it out, he then battles with the elder and gets his rum and now is savoring his last drop of rum, that is until he loses his sword again to a crab that tried to attack him and stole his sword.
I win KOTC.
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