[Jack I]

Dear Captain Nicholas of the Raging Reindeer,

There have been many a time this year in which I could ask for many a thing: Rum... adventure... more rum... gold... some more rum... rum cake... but those items are not important. Well, most aren't anyways. I have learned that despite our pillaging and plundering it is best for us to give, rather than to receive... you know, steal from the rich and then share it with our crew-mates. Thus, rather than be greedy as I should be the rest of the year, I have chosen items for myself or my friends, that which we can all celebrate in this season of good-will plundering.

1. A treasure-chest shaped cookie jar, complete with old fashioned lock & key for Jezzi, so that no one may steal her cookies again.
2. A pair of proper pirate boots for our newest crewman, Maps. I believe he may catch the scurvy if he continues to wear nothing but socks.
3. A voodoo-enchanted box for Zilly. I know not what these "donuts" she speaks of are, but if she says they come in boxes maybe this will help.
4. A Huge Alligator for Thissa. I've heard she enjoys large animals around, and while it does terrify me I believe she will most enjoy this gift.
5. A nutcracker for Basil. I have never seen one before and as far as I know we only have coconuts here in the Caribbean, so I hope it will work on those.
6. A means of returning to his homeland for Batleth. Maybe he is a pirate, it may be mine own eyes playing tricks on me, but I do not believe he is from this Earth; Thar just be one too many wrinkles upon his brow.
7. A set of sea charts and treasure maps for Tepcat. I not be one into litea... litter.... litr.... booking, but thar be plenty of good in these.
8. A parrot for Sven Niscadae. He keeps rambin' of 'pengines', but I've never heard of such a creature. I can only assume he means parrot or pig, and I don't believe a pig would be a kind gift for a pirate...
9. To TooHip I give a piggy bank. For where he finds the time to gamble his money off so, I will never understand, but now he will have somewhere to keep it.
10. To Sarah, I wish for a large bag of Caribbean coffee beans. We've not a means to brew them, but it is the thought that counts.

I thank you for your assistance in my unnatural generosity, Captain Nicolas, and I do hope that you can fulfill all of these wishes for my dear crew-mates. However, my heart still feels the seasonal desire to plunder and loot... for have I missed a gift to give? Surely I haven't, I made my list and checked it twice so as to find which members of the crew had been naughty or ni... as yes, I did forget someone. Someones in fact, and a very large group of someones...

11. To all my fellow pirates here: I wish you a Happy Holiday season, however you may celebrate it, and a Happy New Year. May your days be Jolly as a Roger, and your mugs stay frothy and full with hot cocoa and rum.