YAY CHAPTER
I See Ded Peoplez
Everyone was paralyzed with shock. They couldn't believe it. Was this really George? No, it couldn't have been. There must be a mistake. But it could only be him. He was carrying the Lost Sword.
"George... you... look.... not broken," Banana said in awe, "And rather handsome."
"By God he actually is a man!" Anton exclaimed.
"WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE HAPPENED EARLIER?!" Britney screamed.
"I guess my name really is Brandy... who's George?" Brandy said confusedly. He seemed to not remember anything. He was as lost as you could possibly be.
"Get that fine gentleman some alcohol." George directed. He pointed his sword towards Brandy, or whoever he really was, and the ghosts brought forward several large crates filled to the brim with bottles of rum. Brandy didn't question a thing.
"So, Captain, what's your special plan on getting out of this hellhole?" Phil asked with his arms crossed.
"You guys have got some cannons, right?" the new Captain George questioned.
"Aye, plenty."
"Let's take 'em and put a big hole where that entrance used to be."
"Sounds like a plan, Captain. You heard him boys-"
"HEY!" a female voice whined from the middle of the group.
"-AND Marlene! Now go roll some of those cannons in!"
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The ghosts were extremely efficient, they didn't even stop to rest. Probably because they were dead. But that's beside the point. The presence of a new captain inspired them to great lengths. Many seemed to be glowing brighter than before.
While the ghostly crew set up, the ORIGINAL crew went over what had happened.
"So, you're saying, something inside your head popped, and you instantly felt better?" Anton asked.
"Aye. I still feel the stupid side of me pressing to come out. But it only makes its way through occasionally." George answered.
"George *hic* what in the *hic* world happ*hic*ened....?" Brandy said quizzically. He was wasted again already, and had switched back to his drunken memories. I'm just as confused that that's a thing as you are.
"He got beautiful..." Banana said dreamily. Everyone turned to look at her and she blushed.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! WHY DOES EVERYTHING INSIST ON SHOWING UP LATE?! WHY?! WE WOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN THIS BROKEN AND BEAT IF HE HAD JUST COME TO REALIZATION FASTER!" Britney screamed, furious as ever.
"As far as *hic* I'm concerned *hic* you're the only *hic* broken one here." Brandy managed in his tipsy voice.
"DON'T GET ME STARTED WITH YOU! YOU'VE BEEN DRUNK THIS ENTIRE 'QUEST', AND JUST AS YOU SOBERED UP, YOU WENT BACK AND POISONED YOURSELF AGAIN! AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!"
"You want *hic* some?" Brandy offered him a bottle. Britney started to cry and grabbed a bottle. He took about two swigs and then went insane again, hopping up on his one foot, waving his arms, and throwing the bottle all in one swift movement. Then he fell on his face and broke his nose again. And then he cried. Again.
"We're almost as pathetic as before." Anton said as he facepalmed. Well, face
legged. Yea. That's a thing too.
"Look guys, I have a plan. None of you need to worry either. These ghosts are a lot more solid than they look." George thrust his arm outward, gesturing towards the group of ghouls. Everyone turned to the direction he was pointing. There was a short, fat and balding man with a large piece of ham in one hand and a rusty dagger in the other, which he happened to be using to pick his nose with.
Everyone sighed.
"Alright, in all seriousness, what is your plan, George?" Banana asked.
"Well, I'm glad someone is interested." They all huddled together.
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KABLAM!
The ring of the cannon shots seemed to go on forever in Brandy's ears. Well, everything seemed to ring infinitely. He was drunk 110% of the time.
As the smoke started to clear, George attempted to give an inspiring speech, but as his nerves got to him, the noob within him took over.
"BURRO-" Anton slapped him quickly "-BURRITO!" The crowd shouted back in agreement.
"RUUUUUU*hic*UUUUUM!!" Brandy screamed from the back, his voice cracking. The crowd shouted in agreement to this too. Then the dust settled and the smoke had risen, and through the ashes they marched.
Waiting for them on the other side was a group of five undead soldiers. George rushed them and sliced at a downward angle, cutting one clean through from the shoulder to the hip causing it to stumble around before completely falling apart. He then stabbed another one right in the collar bone, but his sword got stuck. The confused skeleton looked down, wondering what was going on. Another undead ran at George, but he reacted by throwing his elbow into the jaw of the skeletal being, sending his skull down into the large crater filled with water. George then turned back to his sword, still embedded in the collarbone, and he kicked the soldier in the ribs. His sword slid right out, and the confused skeleton stumbled backward a bit before the chubby ghost with the ham charged at him.
"YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" shouted the ghost, before he tackled the undead soldier and the two of them sailed over the edge of the hole. The last two skeletons looked around, dropped their weapons, and jumped into the hole too.
George turned around and looked at the crowd puzzled. They all shrugged, and then cheered. George went with it. He looked over at Banana who couldn't help but giggle. They continued on.
As they crossed the rope bridge, they were singing as if they had already won. But they were far from it. Below, Jolly's remaining forces continued to beat upon the now nearly defenseless citizens. It was a slaughter. But alas, they continued to sing.
George, Banana, Brandy, and Britney all squeezed into the elevator down. Anton flew, and all the ghosts just jumped. They were ghosts, they had nothing to worry about. When they all reached the bottom, they were surprised by the sheer mass of Jolly's army.
All the undead had 1000 yard stares, unaffected by the amount of glowing orange people surrounding them. As if it were normal, all the skeletons drew their weapons at the same exact time. The ghosts did just the same. And then the battle commenced.
George dove right in, slicing up his enemies as easily as he had a couple minutes prior. Anton flew overhead, giving orders and occasionally diving down and getting into the mix of things. Banana fought gracefully as she always had. Brandy ran into battle hiccuping every step, and swinging his hands in every direction he could. Britney didn't do a thing. He just gave the undead soldiers as deathly a stare as they had, occasionally screaming in their faces, and they would walk away.
The ghosts were an entirely different story. Bill n Phil fought like a mixture between George and Brandy. It was all over the place, but it got the job done well. The rest of the crowd seemed fairly experienced. Even Marlene was doing pretty good.
Slowly, George's army made their way through, eventually passing by the mine-cart, under the arch, and into the town. It was a mess. Bodies of innocent people were piling up. Families cowered in dark corners before skeletons would find them and kill them too. But, almost instantly, every skeleton stopped what they were doing, and turned to the glowing group.
The two legions clashed, both fighting fiercely for their cause. Undead crumbled, ghosts vaporized, both sides receiving heavy losses. George swiped and took off the head of one soldier, and charged another one, kicking upward into his pelvis. Nothing. Oh, yea, it was all old dried bone. He ducked as the skeleton tried to slice him, and tackled the undead into another one. He stomped on both of their rib cages, shattering them in doing so. Another soldier came flying at him, his sword raised above his head. George parried and cut the skeleton into multiple sections. Suddenly, he felt a surge of energy. He looked down at himself. He was glowing green! And transparent! He looked at his sword again, and it too was transparent and green. He decided he didn't have time to question it and instead fought on seemingly unaffected by the weapons of his enemy.
Soon enough, the ghost army was wearing thin and George was no longer in his powerful state. They were easier to get rid of than the undead. Aware of this George grabbed Banana, who almost stabbed him thinking he was a skeletal soldier.
"Banana, our friends have fought well, but many are falling to the swords of Jolly's men. I couldn't let anything happen to you or the rest of our crew." George shouted over the clang of metal. Around them the battle raged on.
"What are you insisting?" Banana asked, worriedly.
"I want you guys to return to the cave. There is enough gunpowder left over to seal yourselves in and enough to free yourselves once this is over."
"But George, why would we seal ourselves away if we can help you here?"
"... I'm going to fight Jolly, retrieve The Burrito, and eat it." A light rain started as George said this.
"No... no... no George! You can't!" Banana yelled, choking back tears.
"I have to! It's the only possible way to stop Jolly in his tracks! Otherwise he'll continue to wreck havoc on the Caribbean!"
"But this isn't part of the plan you were going to destroy The Burrito!"
"I'm afraid that's no longer an option. Banana, please. You must go on. Tell everyone what happened here. THAT is your duty right now."
"But... George... I love you..." Banana said. She looked down, almost embarrassed and defeated. George lifted her chin.
"I know." He said, and then he kissed her. George wasn't sure what to do with his hands, so they kind of hung at his side awkwardly. After what seemed like an okay forever, Banana pulled away, and smiled. George smiled back. "Now get going!"
"Yessir!" Banana saluted, gave George a quick hug, and then ran to find the others.
George returned his thoughts to the battle. stepping out of one of the buildings was Jolly. In his free hand The Burrito seemed to gleam with power.
"JOLLY!" He shouted, his nerves got to him and he spoke like a noob again "1v1 mi irl bro!"
Jolly laughed, slipped The Burrito into a pocket and stepped forward.
George stood up straight, pulling himself together. He had a sudden boost of confidence.
Now was his time. Now was the time of The N00b.
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Getting back into this was harder than I thought. This took me TWO hours. AND it's pretty late. Anyways, here you go! I'm aware it isn't as funny as most, but these last couple chapters will take a bit more of a serious note.
Regardless, enjoy
