Pirates DO exist. I had a pretty rough experience with them on a Cruise ship. I was looking over the side of the boat when suddenly something grabbed my feet and pulled me onto the side of the boat. He held me by my hair. I couldn't get a good look at him becuase I was busy fighting. I ended up doing this sequence in one motion:
Left hand jab, right hand uppercut (to the chin), grab the bar he was hanging on to, and kick his head into the water. I succeeded, watched him fall into the water and row away in his boat, and then proceeded to climb back aboard the cruise ship.
I did, in fact, learn his name; or, rather, his alias that he likes to go by.
His name: Batleth
Just kidding
But yes, Pirates do exist still.