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Since someone is "already" on your ship showing 1/10 or 1/12 or whatever ship you have if you were to go to a dingy to launch your ship, you're only boarding your ship. That happens when someone teleports to you or a crewmmate the same moment you dock. You along with the rest of the crew land on the island while the person lands on the ship making it stuck out on the water. Reason why you can't grab the wheel is because, technically your ship "already" docked.
Next time it happens, get everyone to teleport off your ship to go back to their Port of Call or whatever so the ship can reset itself.
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