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The Story Of Solomon O'shot
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#1
10-11-2010, 06:51 AM
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The Story Of Solomon O'shot
This is my first attempt at a story, tell me if anything needs editing or more attention.
Chapter 1 Solomon O'shot wasnt born in the caribbean like most pirates you here about. Solomon was born on an island in the North Atlantic Ocean. Solomon grew up in a wealthy trades family that traded goods to the sailors that would dock here. At the age of 6 his mother had died. His family now consisted of his dad, sister and himself. Nothing really happened up until a week after his 12th birthday After his 12th birthday his father died of what the local doctor said was a heart attack. Solomon was adopted into another family. His life had gone from good to bad. Another week after that, Solomon found him on the beach, under the hot sun, watching the huge ship that swayed and bobbed in the water that had docked that morning. He spotted a family friend working n the shallows, casting ropes at the rowboats making there way to shore. Solomon waded into the icy, crystal blue water next to him. "Where do they come from, and where are they headed" Solomon asked his friend, James Mcrage. "They are british and they are headid towards Port Royal, in the caribbean" he had replied. This Solomon thought was his oppurtunity to get away from the island and go see more of the world. "Stop wondering yer fool and help me get these fine men to shore" snapped James. Solomon took the rope that was being offered to him and cast it towards a rowboat. When he had pulled the rowboat in. The leader of the boat, whom also revealed himself to be Captain asked where he could buy local exports. Solomon pointed down the beach, past some trees, to the market and said "There you can find something you might be looking for" "Thank'ee" replied the captain Later that day Solomon bumped into the captain again. "Say, have I met you before" inquired the Captain "Aye," Solomon Said, "My names Solomon sir, it is a honor to meet you" "Nice to meet you Solomon, my names Captain John Blastgun, you seem to be fond of sailing, would you like to come out to the caribbean with me, but first yer need to ask yer parents" he told Solomon, Solomons mind was racing, this was his oppitunity, he glanced around his home island, at the familiar faces, at his sister. then said "I would love to come, you not be needing to worry about my parents, they had died some time previously" The Captain sent him off to get anything he wanted before boarding the ship La Revanche des Brouillards ---------------------- So what do you think of the first chapter, there will be more. Any thoughts or improvements i could make, be harsh. 
Last edited by Solomon O; 10-11-2010 at 08:15 AM.. Reason: Spelling errors |
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#2
10-11-2010, 06:55 AM
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Its not bad mate, its not bad. I can see a writer in you. This is a great place for people to show their inner creativity.
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#3
10-11-2010, 07:20 AM
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Awesome first chapter Solomon! I have seen a few typing errors so may want to check over that. Overall very good!
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#5
10-11-2010, 08:03 AM
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The word dock on the first few lines has a typo.
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#7
10-11-2010, 08:14 AM
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Chapter 2
The ship had cast off, his home island was being swallowed by the horizon. After the Captain had heard Solomon's Story about his family he had adopted him as his own son. The Crew of La Revanche des Brouillards grew fond of Solomon. Solomon loved hearing stories abouth the ocean. Anytime he had to spare, Solomon would try and presuade Henry Seaflint to tell him a stroy, Henry's stories were the best, it could be about people that were half fish to people that were dead yet still haunted the caribbean. the crew was surprised to find Solomon extremely talented with the sword. He had revealed that when he was old enough and strong enough to lift a sword his dad had taught him how to weild one. The crew soon started calling Solomon, Solo. This was because of hs name and the fact that he tried to do alot of stuff on his own. Solo soon learnt how to raise sails, steer the ship, play poker and other stuff aboard the La Revanche des Brouillards. One foggy night, after everybody had gone to sleep Solo woke up. This was unusuall for him. He listened to the creak and moans of the ship, and the splash of water outside. What was wrong, he thought. He slowely got up and made his way to the upper deck. There he found Henry Seaflint on guard duty by the wheel. As he made his was over Henry said "You have that feeling too? me mum says it be me sixth sense, like I know that im being watched or folowed or Im not alone" He looked at Solo for a long minute, the icy spray of the ocean in his face, his beard flapping in the wind. "You look paly, maybe ye should head back below decks" "Aye" replied Solomon, but as he said it, out of the corner of his eye he spotted a ship, heading for them. Last edited by Solomon O; 10-11-2010 at 08:35 AM.. |
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#8
10-11-2010, 08:32 AM
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Good! I see some typo errors on the first line its Horizon. Second line needs to be spelled haunted.
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#10
10-11-2010, 10:35 AM
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Chapter 3
As Solo pointed Henry looked over, his eyes wide with shock. Some other crew that were on guard duty looked in that direction as well. It was a ship with a black flag and a skull & crossbones,a pirate ship! Solomon was the first to re-act ringing the alarm bell. Soon the deck was flooded by a ocean of crewmen. The captain was at the helm issueing orders to the crew. They started loading starboard cannons, waiting for an order. The two ships started circuling each other. The captain of La Revanche des Brouillards was first to order, yelling FIRE! Cannons boomed and wood flying, none damage was yet to come to La Revanche des Brouillards but the other ship was very badly damaged, in fact Solomon noticed this wasn't even a war ship. The enemy ship tilted to the side that had taken damage, before long the ship was floating on its starboard side. Another broadside fired rom Solomon's ship and again the ship took more damage. The battle was over, no damage had come to their ship what-so-ever, not much could be said of the crew, Solomon had taken a nasty cut from a piece of shrapnel and so had other Navy and Sailors. The pirate ships lay in ruins. Captain John orderd the crew to search for survivors, stating that it was his duty in the navy to help others including pirates. After a while the searchers returned, Solo had not gone with them for the Captain had said he was too young. The captain got off the rowboat and walked towards Solo. in his had was beautiful swor. It had a gold pommel, with a blue saphire on the very end, where the blade met the pommel was three diamonds as well. The sword was a dark grey and near the end it widened before forming a sharp point. "I know its not right to steal, but one of the pirates gave this to me asking to spare his life," stated Captain John "I want ye to have it" "Thank'ee" Replied Solo, very grateful. The sun reflected off the sword, which made it look like it was sparkling. Along with the sword, the crew had capture 13 men that were thrown into the brigg. The sun was peeking over the horizon by the time they set sail. Most crew opted not to go to sleep again since they would wake up in a hour or two. There was a cool breeze along with the warm sunlight. Solomon had climbed the crows nest and watched the wrekage that lay a distance behind him. Then he noticed the cut on his arm, when he recieved it it didnt look that bad, now in the light he could see it all. The cut streched from above his elbow to his wrist. it was oozing blood, a watery substance and some yellow substance as well. The pain was unbearable, Solo even thought he saw some wood inside the wound... Last edited by Solomon O; 10-11-2010 at 10:39 AM.. Reason: Spelling |
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#11
10-13-2010, 05:38 AM
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Interesting chapter!
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#12
10-13-2010, 06:06 AM
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Special thanks to my fellow guild mates for inspiring me
 Chapter 4 Solomon gingerly made his way down from the crows nest. When his feet alighted upon the deck Captain John came marching over. "Hey, Solo, I nee-" he paused mid speech when his eyes fell upon the wound. "You need to get that checked out by the surgeon" he stated. The Captain quickley marched Solomon below decks to the ship's surgeon. After a couple minutes in the surgeon's room Solo cam out with rags wrapped aroud his arm. Captain John was waiting for him outside. "How goes it?" he asked. "If it aint looking better by Wednesday they will amputate my arm" Solomon grumbled. The Captain stared wide-eyed at Solomon, "Ok" he said after a minute's worth of brooding. Later that week, after the surgeon told Solomon he can keep his arm, Solo found himself in the crows nest with Henry Seaflint. it was a icy night, the wind was blowing like it never had before, the moon was high in the cloudless sky, illuminating the surroundings. Henry tapped Solo on the shoulder. Solomon looked at him, only to find him holding a telescope out to him. Solomon took the telescope. "About 4 degrees off starboad" said Henry with new-found excitement. Solo looked throught the telescope and against the dark sky was a darker shape. It was a shape Solo had seen plenty of times in paintings aboard the ship. It was Port Royal. The captain, seeing and hearing the excitement called up to the crows nest, "Problems?" "Nay, Captain, thar be land 4 degrees off starboard!" yelled Solo. The captain took out his own spyglass and looked, a moment later he was yelling orders to turn in that direction. 3 days later the ship was anchored some distance off land. Solomon found himself eager to help unload cargo into rowboats and row towards land. A hour after porting Solo found himself touching dry-land again. Port Royal was a beautiful town. It was like nothing Solo had ever seen before. There were magnificent houses, a ever greater fort - which Solo reconised as Fort Charles - that had shining cannons pointed out to sea, there was a low fog on the ground, children ran by, luaghing with pleasure, a dog barked somewhere. Solomon jumped as somebody laid a hand on his shoulder, it was the captain. "Be a beautiful town, aint it not?" he asked Solomon "It is maginificent" Solomon stated without hesitation. "I wonder-" Solomon was cut off as some Navy Soldiers, that he recognised from the ship, marched into the fort. Solomon continued speaking "I wonder if all towns in the caribbean are as great as this one" "Some are, some aren't, others I dont know" Said the captain. "Come let me show you our home" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ There are probaly 2-3 chapters left. Any suggestions about wat could be improved apart from my spelling? |
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#13
10-13-2010, 06:12 AM
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Keep up the good work Solo! I being entertained alot!
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#14
10-13-2010, 06:14 AM
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Quote:
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#15
10-13-2010, 06:23 AM
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^ Sure mate it be a honor to be in your story!
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