The Adventures of Captain Vestal

[WitchdoctorDan]

Chapter 1

[Bailiff] Your honor, now presenting to the stand Captain Geoffrey Vestal.

[Judge] Thank you, bailiff. Captain Vestal, you are charged with 15 counts of murder, 3 counts of piracy, 2 counts of obstruction of justice, and one count of mutiny. How do you plead?

[Vestal] *ahem* Not guilty, your honor. But, may I have a moment of your, and the jury's, time?

[Judge] I'll allow it.

[Vestal] Thank you, your honor. Ladies and gentlemen of the court and the jury, do you ever stop and think? Stop and think that perhaps, in some stretch of the imagination, that perhaps we so-called "criminals" aren't the criminals at all? That maybe the people that pass unfair laws, create corrupt law enforcement, and brand us "pirates", "thieves", and "crooks" are in fact the real criminals? If not, then please, I beg of you to consider it. I beg of you to consider the fact that my crew, myself, and even my enemies were forced upon these "crimes" by hard times and laws passed by the corrupt British government. I accept full responsibility for my crew, as they followed me with blind devotion. I promised that they would have food for their families and themselves and could pay their rent and taxes. The abolishment of Privateering proved hard on many a man, and I assure you that these so-called of acts of "piracy" against me are purely false or retaliatory against real pirates. So please, see through the lies of the men in charge and judge myself and my crew fairly. That is all, your honor.

[Judge] Vestal, enough of these attempts to cloud the judgement of my jury. Tell your side of the story, then, if you are so "innocent".

[Vestal] Yes, your honor...