I'm pirate lord of padres del feugo!!!

[Jack Shipsteel]

And there's those blasted trees. Don't forget them and their hijinx.

Also, Mr. Seaking, the Rum Industry is in need of a, how do you say... bailout. Recently, the eruption of the local volcano has decmiated the vessels that currently, or, well, did carry Padre Del Fuego's Rum, and the rum of many local investors. The town populace, without this drink, has become restless and cranky. If not prepared, they could riot, and this paradise can become a settlement worse than Tortuga. And, the investors in our town will pull their support from the town, and their funds. Without these funds, the economy shall collapse. So, The Town is in desperate need of your own, personal funds. Please, answer the towns demands.

Yours Truly,

Jack Shipsteel AKA Wackie Jackie

This is extremely entertaining.